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October 11th, 2009
07:51 pm - Quote
"Everyone has the heartbreak that shapes them in a way that they could never go back to the innocence that they had before. It's beautiful and poignant and bittersweet to explore."
"The fear of losing love is the dark side. But the wonderful side is the feeling that you get when you fall in love."
Both quotes are from Zooey Deschanel, a movie actress who has appeared in a couple of films that I have watched, namely Elf, The Simpsons, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Yes Man. I never thought that one day I would post a quote of a movie actress in my blog but I just did ! I feel that the sentences are quite though-evoking and so posted them there. I am not elaborating on the quotes and will leave you to chew on them.
Anyway, Zooey was saying these in an interview to promote (500) Days of Summer. I have not watched the said movie yet, nor I am promoting it. Oh, btw, this Zooey actress looks like this if you do not know (below). With that, i will leave my blog once again and hopefully will be back to review the movie if I get to catch it.
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August 8th, 2007
09:50 am - 25 years old and counting
Hey peeps,
I am 25 years old le. Old liao. 15 more years to be eligible for Eldershield! Omg..
Anyway, for my birthday this year, it is quite a deviation from my usual. Unlike for the past 10++ years, my pri mates didn't manage to get together to spend time together as YH was overseas though meeting Eileen sometime later. It's kinda wierd cuz i really appreciate this yearly tingy whereby at least I know that got peeps who remembers my birthday.
However, this year, someone new came into my life and made me feel blessed. I don't really like discussing my relationship online but I am really glad that I have found her. Yup.
Anyway, I met up with 3 of my colleagues who used to work with me for 6 months at Customer Dept. We named ourselves '4 IEs' and really got along well cuz we were always fighting against the management and whoever. Now even we are all in different places, we still keep in touch via email and meet up every month.
Actually 4 of us are pretty different. One is more outspoken, vocal and funny, another is an direct opposite - quiet and serious. The other is direct but yet not really that articulative. Yet, I can feel that I learn more about myself and gain something from them. Normally I am not a person who like confrontations. Through them, I gained a little bit of courage to face and fight for myself although I still retained my tactfulness. I just think that it will serve me well cuz previously i don't know how to fight for myself thou I do fight for others.
I am one year older, none the wiser but a bit braver and more loved. I am thankful for what has happened to me for the past year except the job part. There can never be a perfect life so this is as good as it can get. I do not have as much time as I used to have to spend with my mates but I do try so please bear with me if i have neglected ya in any way. Just drop me a line and I will grab it if time allows me to. Cya ard peeps
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January 29th, 2007
11:14 pm - Unified theory
After a couple of days of pondering and a day of two of relapses in idiotic overthinking on my side, I finally sorted out my feelings. I still dunno things like how is gonna be, wat is the outcome, etc. BUT I gonna just heck care about things I can't control
I was confused. Overthinking way too much. I shld just stick to my usual thinking - keep things simple. So yup. I'm gonna base everything i gonna do on one thinking.
I like her
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/smile.gif) happy
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January 23rd, 2007
09:58 am - No subject needed
I thot of doing my year-end review for 2006. Just happened that I just had one of those dark moody days yesterday - days whereby I get upset with myself for no apparent reason. I've not had one for some time.
I react badly to too many changes - both happy ones and bad ones. I ought to be happy and I am happy but something in my mind just flip the switch. I am thinking if its my dark side or my conscience that does it.
My life depends on my mood. Happiness is like a drug - I can't live without it. If my mood go on the downswing, everything is affected. The most obvious will be my health. Normally if I am upset, I will most definitely become sick.
Deep inside me, there's a disparity b/w what I want and what I can. I really want to love. Can I ?
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October 25th, 2006
09:53 am - H+
It has been so long since the last time I updated this blog that even the site format has even changed. Anyhow, I had a terrible dream today about this proj mate @ NYP. In my dream, I dreamt that she was bitten by a snake and died. And I was in shock when I heard it. But luckily its a dream only
Anyway, I had been employed by NTUC Income during the missing months as insurance executive. Attended 3 mth course at NYP which was pretty enjoyable and in a way, I did well. I have a really good project team in there so just enjoyin the ride. Money-wise I am struggling cuz only on allowance but lidat loh.
I read this book by Edward De Bono (the guy who invented CoRT thinking). It was about him proposing a new religion called H+. It is supposed to be a positive thinking religion and it sounded good til the part whereby it asked the readers to send money. Yup. Anyway, it does give me a tot. Mebbie I shld really think of the way I am living my life.
No real issue this time round, so no more things to say.
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June 26th, 2006
03:25 pm - Yeah !! An update !!
Me is updating. Kinda long long long long long long time.
First things first, my current situation - I am still jobless, still poor, abtisy sick. Besides that, I am totally fine. My graduation is on 10th Jul and I still am hopelessly prayin that someone will at least interview me for a job. Haha. That's all about myself.
Next, I just read thru some of my fwens' blog. I think its terrible. Everyone is feeling down. I also dunno how man. Everyone faces problems of their own which sometimes only they can solve only on their own. Hence, all i can say is, isolate the problem from ur life. I mean, one's life does not need to evolve around the solving of your problems. I think mebbie becuz I've yet to work, that's why I can say tt. However, I do believe that there's much in life to be happy about. Sometimes we look at the bad, sad tings and keep dwelling on it. How about the good things? When one is in a rut, one dun tend to look at the good things. I believe that people always do things that actually signify that they care for you even though its not apparent. I really think so. People making time for you is one indicator. Life is not a drama serial - people do not perform dramatic acts to show that they care. They just do, in their little actions.
I have mostly been cheerful, I guess. Mebbie not happy as many people in my Johari's window did not mention me to be. But I really think outlook of life is more important than life itself. If you see the good in most things, everything will appear brighter somehow even if life itself is bad. Yup. That's my preachy blog entry.
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May 3rd, 2006
12:17 am
Nah, not an extremist.
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April 3rd, 2006
09:56 pm - Irritating students
Today I have encountered the most irritating things about history modules – the heavily accented history students who find it necessary to show off their knowledge from other modules.
First off, why put on that accent? It is like a requirement for history majors to put on that fake accent when talking. The only excuse I can validate for that is that they watch a lot of films that is narrated by angmohs; after all, history is mostly written by white men. Well well, if so, they should just all take guns and shoot at one another, for most films portray wars. In that way, I don’t have to tolerate these bigots in class.
Next, why is there a need to display your wonderful knowledge of history when it is required? This moron who had to talk for 3 min and essentially when he finished, the tutor just repeated his last words. Of course his accent already turned me off but his words pissed me off. “From the module I took last semester, blah blah blah-look-at-me-I-am-damn-fucking-smart.” We don’t need to know what you learn. It does not answer the question.
I just feel that this is the reason why people often find graduates stuck up. ‘Look, I am a blardy graduate who can speak in angmoh accent and as you know, angmohs are so much better so I am better than all of you.’ Sigh. Fucking crap. I am gonna be a graduate. Hope that I won’t be stereotyped as one of these idiots.
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February 15th, 2006
10:32 am - Wooo, uni fee hiked again!
I am in school. Sibei bo liao. I read this circular by NUS admin, saying that fee will be hiked again. Reason being: Defray the increasing operating cost. Song. Just a few words and we oso lan lan. I don't really care lah - I am not affected at all but then the NUSSU also email us, saying they disappointed, blah blah blah .. basically it means they oso can't do shit. Hahaha.
I think I have a total perverse sense of humour. I can seriously laugh at anything. I go to this forum on IVLE (some NUS site) and see the forum on fee hike cuz now I have long break to zho bo. Wah.. I see alot other students even more free than me, and post si bei many comments. Haha. Anyway, some of them ask for more transparency, more action to be taken, more reason given, more blah blah blah. Some attack the NUSSU who I personally think is quite useless. Haha. Lemme cut and paste something I tot was funny.
"And here is the truth: those dingbats in NUSSU are there just because they want their testimonials to look good. They get all the credit for doing nothing. So here is my suggestion: we give the members of NUSSU a grade on a scale of 1 to 10 for their level of service to the student body, 1 being 'worst than atrocious' and 10 being 'dreadful'. This way, how much they contribute to NUS can be accurately reflected in their testimonials. It will also deter people from running for office just for CCA points or for the testimonials."
I tot it was damn farnie cuz the first sentence hits the point. You really think those peeps in SU care meh? Haha. They pretend to care and do this and that. Bottom line is they just wan CCA points and look good in their CV. Not that it matters to me. To each, his own. However, my personal view is that NUSSU really do not do the job well. Don't need to look furthur than the publication they print - The Ridge. I remember on this issue, there are always the same old people giving comments. As in, the feedback section have the same people giving feedback as the rest of the magazine. It is kinda sad. Taking perpectives from the same people who are probably SU members anyway. What irks me is precisely that, NUSSU only caters things for students who they classified how a student should be - funky, happening, likes bashes and partying. They do not constitute for all of the students.
Anyway, in the forum oso, there is this report by Channel NewsAsia. In it, there's this part:
Said Jarious Ng Zheng Cong of NUS, "In view of before 2005 and 2006, the past four years there was no fee hike, I believe in a sense that this is justifiable; because the fee hike will go into teaching staff, upgrading the facilities we have, which will also be accessible to the students."
Song lah. This guy gonna be dead. Haha. The rest of the threads starts with ' Who the hell is Jarious Ng?!". Someone even state that he/she is a Year One student. What a way to make yourself famous. Hee.
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February 12th, 2006
07:08 pm - Deja Vu (s)
I think it is kinda sad to leave my blog lidat, neglected for so long. In truth, I did have a lot of tots to blog about. I can think of many queer things to write about as I am living my life but when I get home, I don't write it down due to plain laziness. My greatest sin is probably sloth.
Anyway, I was very sick this weekend. So ill that I had to see a doctor. Apparently the last time I saw this doctor was back in my NS days. Not that I did not fall ill during my NUS days but not sufficiently sick to do so. Anyway, the drugs the doctor prescribed was 'powerful'. I felt so much better.
Anyway, last friday something very strange happened. I managed to bump into this guy skool-mate 4 times and this ger skool-mate thrice. For the guy, I met him at science canteen. I went back to arts after I had my lunch there and saw him at the bench there. Den after slacking at the computer lab, I saw him again. Last of all, when I was going back home after lesson, I saw him at kent ridge terminal. I don't even know him well but its really very qiao.
Similarly, I met that ger when I was going to the comp lab. Or rather, I saw her at the bench but she din see me. As I was slacking at the comp lab, she came and sat besides me without me and her realising it initially. I kinda "eh" very loudly when I saw her. After she left the lab, I proceeded to my lesson venue and guess wat, her lecture hall is just opposite of mine and I saw her again. Its deja vu after deja vu on fri manzz.
I guess it is not just that. It rained when I went to school on Thur. During my lesson, it stopped. When I went home, it rained. The same thing happen on Friday. Probably the reason why I fell sick.
Anyway anyhow, I have been trying to write my year-in-review. I had a serious mind block. Sigh.
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December 23rd, 2005
11:52 am - Dramatic dreams
I have two totally wierd dreams last night and the night before. The one on the night before is less vivid but I dreamt of a cousin who lives in Malaysia and whom I have seriously hardly any contact.
The second one is more funny and interesting and more importantly more detailed. I was in an ice hockey team despite not knowing how to play at all. I remembered joining the team, watching everyone practise but I never got to practise. On match-day, the coach puts me in. Hence I played. I remembered that I got the puck (the plastic thing they hit in ice hockey) and dribbled out of the defense. After which, I declined to pass and shot. No goal but the instant reaction is to look for my teammates and coach to scold me. Even I don't know how to play the game, I know this is wasteful. However I was surprised that no one criticised me.
During timeout, I realised the coach is Samuel L.Jackson from Coach Carter, the movie!! Nevermind about that. The amazing part comes soon. During timeout, we were discussing the after-game plans. One of my teammates said he's gonna coach some kids at the local rink. That was when I realised that I couldn't skate at all!! I played a game and skated unconsciously. That's when I tot that ... now that I knew I couldn't skate, can I skate now ? Haha.
I can't continue. Cuz I woke up after that. But weird wierd dreams. Anyhow, festive season is up. Enjoy yrself. Merry Xmas and Happy New Year. Hopefully I will get a year-in-review up sometimes later. Cherrio !
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December 16th, 2005
01:41 pm - Seven
Fulfilling a request. Oh, I like eight better but the show Seven is one of the best films I watched. Anyway, just crapping. Here's the trivial sevens about me.
7 things that scare me:
1) Dying too early
2) Dying too late
3) No afterlife
4) People who are real evil
5) Not dying when I should, i.e being a vegetable
6) Homosexuals
7) Trapped inside somewhere with a hungry lion/tiger/leopard etc, and totally defenseless
7 random songs at the moment:
1) Zhi zu by Mayday
2) Zhi ming yu chun jiao by Mayday ( hokkien song )
3) Time of your life by Green Day
4) Iris by Goo Goo Dolls
5) Zhui by Leslie ( Cantonese )
6) Semi-charmed life by Third Eye Blind
7) Runaway train by Soul Asylum
7 things/people that I like most:
1) People who are good to me ( I don’t care if they are total assholes to others – it doesn’t matter )
2) Soccer
3) BBQ Stingray
4) My pri skol mates who kept in contact
5) Bowling
6) Sotong
7) Manchester United
7 names i go by:
1) Hanyang
2) OrEmuN
3) NumEr0
4) Yang
5) Zheng
6) Zheng Tao
7) Lion
7 important things in my room:
1) Mainboard
2) Processor
3) Monitor
4) RAM
5) Hard drive
6) GFX and Sound card
7) Other PC peripherals. Now you know how impt the CPU is to me.
7 random facts about me:
1) I am tired now ( random enuff? )
2) My room has no clock. Excuse for my tardiness
3) I don’t really mind having a jab
4) Had a ingrown toe nail before
5) I am using Mozilla Firefox as main browser. IE is used to check my school stuffs
6) Bus companies hate me. They contrive to make me late every single day.
7) When I am in dilemma between two things, I will assign odd and even values to the things. After which, I will look at my hp and see if the minutes of the time is even or odd. In which, I will decide from there. Bet that no one knows this.
7 things I plan to do before I die:
1) Love someone who loves me back
2) Learn how to mediate
3) Visit Taiwan, the origin of my dad’s family
4) Watch Man United at OT. Even if it’s a youth game or some shit Cup
5) Watch San Antonio Spurs at SBC
6) Get rich. Or just not poor
7) Get laid
7 things I can do:
1) Scratch my own back
2) Play soccer with both feet
3) Format a PC
4) Type fast
5) Swim
6) Spit real far
7) Eat a plate of rice in one minute
7 things I can't do:
1) Pee and fart at the same time then walk off without washing my hands. ( I’ve seen peeps do that !! )
2) Lie maliciously towards friends
3) Take words for granted from acquaintances
4) Drink and get high ( I drink and get a headache )
5) Watch golf for 10 min
6) Play cricket
7) Stop being an anti-social cynic
7 things I say the most:
1) Orh
2) Yeah right (2 tones – 1st is sarcasm, the 2nd is even more sarcasm with the sian look)
3) O’ritely
4) Okay
5) Fuck!
6) Ehhh…
7) Hao
7 people I want to do this too:
1) Any seven people be it ah gao ah mao ah beng ah lian. Oh, yes ah gao! Haha.
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December 12th, 2005
02:35 pm - Cleaning up of my room + tots mebbie?
Last Monday, I am supposed to stay home and clean my room in tandem with my mum cleaning the rest of the house. However, she tua me. I stay home, giving up soccer and she went out. Hence, hafta do it today.
I loathe cleaning up my room. Or anywhere, anything for that matter. I have a blardy sensitive nose and I will have running nose, sneeze a lot during cleaning up. Anyway, I was clearing out my cupboard and realised that the amount of 8 days is astounding. Decide to throw all of them away.
I came across this yellow Royal Elastic Box. I have no inkling what it contains and so I opened it. My NS stuffs are in it - the lil black notebooks, the green booklet, dog tags, etc. Funny in a way. I mean NS has become a memory but seeing these is kinda nostalgic.
Next, I found this book named ' Freshmen Guide 2003/04'. It is part of this orientation package they sell or give out during matriculation, I think. Varsity life has passed me by so fast, too fast. It really feels like yesterday, pardon the cliche. I wasted my Uni times ... it brings back a memory.
Just before JC, I was on irc, talking to this random person who has completed JC and is doing his NS. He told me he stoned his 2 yr of JC away. I asked him what does stoning mean. He said, ' not playing, not studying, wasting my time'.
I was determined not to make the same mistake. At first 3 months of NJ, I was very involved. Subsequently at SAJC, I was too affected to enjoy myself initially but eventually I did make some good fwens from my class and learn how to be more independent since my RV mates were no longer with me there.
At NUS, it is an utter waste of time. I did not make much friends ( not that I want to but just saying ). I din study hard. I din get involved in activities. NUS is like a black hole in my life. It suck up everything. Basically what I seek out to do, I fail. What I don't want to be, I become.
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December 1st, 2005
01:43 pm - Near closure
Yeah, exams over. I think this blog is over soon too. I am like losing interest in blogging. However, ah gao says just leave it here instead of deleting and I tink so too.
This is my expected last school vacation. I am torn between working and not working. I nid the money for June but I duwan to spend my last holidays working. I've to make a decision real soon or its hard to find a job liao. I tink in e end, i will not work so i've to be very prudent with my spending this month. However, if you have any job offers for me, please lemme know.
Summary of the semester. One semester that I think its kinda enjoyable. I skipped more lectures this semester but they are real useless. Taking Bahasa Indonesia is the fun part - made a lot of friends and the lessons are generally enjoyable except the grammar one where the tutor looks really like an 'obasan'. Yup. Even more surprising is that I interact with the BI tutors a lot more than in any of my other lessons. My development econs project group got 2 Filipinos and that makes it more interesting. Learnt a lot on the country - more than what books can tell you. All in all, it was a good semester.
Anyway, anyone has a good read to recommend? I prefer those war fiction but anything is fine as long as it is engaging. Love stories .... not really though. Hee. Now reading this book ' Scimitar SL-2 ' by Patrick Robinson. If you like war fiction, this seem to be a decent book. Signing off.
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October 26th, 2005
11:17 am - Extension of the weekend
Yo, I am back finally. Seems like I am really too busy this time round to blog. Lotsa work to be done but anyway, it has been dealt with. This week is one of the rare weeks that I have nothing urgent to hand up. Phew.
Anyway, last weekend was a good weekend. Saturday night, I did my usual stay-home-boy act and watched a lot of TV. Or rather a lot of sports. Sunday morning, once I wake up, I amazed myself by doing work first thing in the morning. I have to hand in this assignment on Mon night so I kinda nearly completed it in that morning, then I went to watch April Snow with a friend. The show kinda suck. After which, I met up with some other friends and watched Flight Plan which is not as bad as the reviews said. After the show, we went to Starbucks and Kopitiam at Orchard there to chit-chat til 3am.
Monday - I have to wake up at 8.30am despite sleeping at 4-5 am. Felt so tired. My friends came to NUS to look for me. Had lunch, then walked around and talked cock in the library before going to East Coast Park for our friend's birthday BBQ. Stayed til 11+ pm before cabbing back. Had a lot of fun.
I like my last weekend alot. It is so 'last time' when I give up a lot of sleeping hours to go out. Moreover, one of my fwens who worked til 10+ pm on Monday, actually cabbed down just to meet us for a while, which I tot was pretty impressive. Anyhow, exams coming, I am so gonna die...
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September 27th, 2005
10:51 pm - Crap writings
Today I am supposed to study. However, I suddenly think of something and decides to pen it down. Here it goes. Not really a poem or what but just write
The distance between us is wide
Though sometimes it felt like I could touch you
In one way or another
Everytime you would walk away
That's the only inevitable
Amongst the uncertainities of life
Footprints across the beach
Awaiting to be drowned
When the moon comes round
As the tide leave for the fringes
Along with the footprints, it will bring.
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September 20th, 2005
12:04 am - Hinokio
I went to watch Hinokio today with my friend. I have no inkling of what
show it is. Just that the timing suits us. Hence, went to take risk.
Don't be deceive by the intergalactic love description in the posters.
It is not really star-wars-like story. It is a story about a boy who
has lost his mother, his legs temporarily and most importantly, his
social ability. He goes to school, using a robot, regaining that bit of
social experience. Soon, he realises that robot is not just not
enough....
Ay, it's hard to describe the movie without making it sounds as good as
it is. I really like it. Think I will get the DVD or VCD if its out.
Yupz. If you see one, please inform me. Thanks. Catch it if you can.
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September 18th, 2005
02:03 pm - Love Blog-things
| The Keys to Your Heart | 
You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.
You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.
In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered. |
| How You Are In Love | 
You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.
You give and take equally in relationships.
You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard. |
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September 17th, 2005
11:13 am - Lucky strike by a quiz
| You Are Likely an Only Child | 
At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated.
At work and school, you do best when you're organizing.
When you love someone, you tend to worry about them.
In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic.
Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management.
You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books. |
Woot.. e quiz actually predicted rightly. I am an only child. Is it apparent? Sigh... anyway, i hate self-help books. However, if writing them will earn me money, mebbie I will.
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September 15th, 2005
10:01 pm - Hate greater than love ?
Imagine a food you totally and absolutely hate. Then imagine a food that you love. Mix them up ....
Do you still like it or loathe it already?
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